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The Olympic Games closing ceremony was phenomenal and fabulous, entertaining and enthralling, apart from the 8 minutes that were allocated to London to advertise the 2012 games. This section was truly awful - even more shockingly horrible than anticipated. The Chinese put on a show that was awesome, spectacular, original, majestic, inspirational and uplifting. The Brits, however, brought on a red bus, some tackily dressed dancers doing silly and senseless gyrations, some garish umbrellas, and Beckham doing the only things he can do - grin inanely, and kick a ball. Or as Marina Hyde said in The Guardian, “Behold, world, our Beckham! Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair!”
The centrepiece, the pivotal performance in the London slot, was a rendition of “Whole Lotta Love” featuring Jimmy Page looking like a fat pigtailed grey-haired uncle, and Leona Lewis, admittedly a Hackney girl, warbling away at something that originally was, and still ought to be, belted out by Robert Plant. But not in this context. This was no place for ANY cock rock, let alone a period piece by Led Zep. The Chinese effort at contemporary rock music was colorful, original, up-tempo, uplifting and had a massive feel-good effect. The Brit effort was plodding, dull and hackneyed, and not a good advertisement for Hackney 2012 in any way. Shameful.
Even more horrible was the follow-on programme on BBC1, featuring various events around Britain - supposedly some kind of national launch party for the 2012 games. It was so bad it was impossible to switch off for fear of missing the very worst of what seems to pass for contemporary British ‘culture’.
In London, right outside Buck House, the organisers had built a concert stage that looked like a particularly nightmarish filling station. I think there used to be a petrol company called UK. This one was pumping out BP - British Poop music.
First up were the cast of the Queen musical, doing all the predictable and horrible stuff they do - “We Are The Champions”, “We Will Rock You”, etc. Time does nothing to diminish my hatred of Queen’s stupid, preening, overweening, senseless rubbish. What kind of people like this stuff? Fucking morons. Freddie Mercury, aka Farrokh Bulsara, - RIP. You were a true tosser and an egomaniac without peer, in a world full of egomaniacs and tossers.
How do they decide the running order of these things? In the time-honored manner of bringing on the complete rubbish first, and keeping the ‘best’ of it to ‘top the bill’? If so, it was a ridiculous mistake. To follow the magnificence of the Chinese dancing, playing, singing and performing with such complete dross was to fill one’s heart with despair and shame.
Next on were a bunch of lads called Scouting for Girls. Eh? What? Bring back The Animals, The Searchers, The Rolling Stones, even The Swinging Blue Jeans. What’s the point of having these wet little pillocks with their wet little names and their wet little haircuts performing so bloody wetly? Strangely though, S for G chose to end their slot with “London Calling” - a dark Clash classic.
London calling, see we ain't got no swing
Except for the ring of that truncheon thing
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running but I have no fear
Cuz London is drowning and I live by the river.
http://www.chordie.com/chord.pere/getsome.org/guitar/olga/chordpro/c/The.Clash/LondonCalling.choproDid they really mean to bash out the message that London is NOT a good place to be? Or was it similar to Ronnie Reagan’s liking for Springsteen and “Born In The USA” - enthusiasm for a title, a tune, an artist and a performance, without paying the least attention to the meaning of the lyrics.
Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go
Born in the U.S.A.
Mystifying.
Even worse than the crap music and the crap dancing were the silly kids they hire as “presenters” and MCs of this rubbish. Ludicrous inane wannabe celebs; fatuous, idiotic, foolish prats. Chattering, bilious fools. It was all so utterly cringe-making I truly worry about the media’s presentation of our national life and culture over the next four years and in 2012, should the world manage to stagger that far.
The Chinese left us all wanting more, and truly appreciating the refinement of their arts, their imagination, their traditions and their culture. God knows what’s going to happen if we let the fools who run our media and our affairs mess it all up with a ridiculous melange of sold-out dinosaurs and daft kids. Sensible rockers like Mick and Keith will stay well away from such rubbish, and so will any truly talented young folk, for fear of being tainted with the sheer crap that’s bound to predominate.
Maybe we should just hire the folk who produced the Chinese shows/ceremonies to come and do it for us - to create something new and brilliant. Or else risk the world seeing the true awfulness of what our mainstream celebrity, star-struck and wannabe culture actually is.
People like ‘Lord’ Coe and Co are already running scared of trying to match the Chinese effort. They’re already copping out by saying ‘our’ games will be more humble and modest, both in budget and ambition. You can already see them getting ready to parade just a few pop idols and national ‘icons’ dressed in pin-stripes and bowlers, riding in buses and black cabs, with a squad of pearly kings and queens for added flavour. If our 8 minutes in the closing ceremony of 2008 is anything to go by, God help us.
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Obama mit BidenI have a new theory about the US presidential election, which is now starting to shift into overdrive. Most positive and progressive people seem to assume that if there’s any justice on earth then the Democrats and Obama will win the race, and will begin forthwith to right the wrongs that have been perpetrated on America and on the planet since the Republicans stole the presidency from Al Gore and the Democrats back in the dawning of this millenium.
But my theory is that Fate hasn’t yet finished inflicting on America the amount of humiliation and economic catastrophe it feels the country deserves. This isn’t my judgement, I hope you understand. As Obama would say, that sort of decision takes place well above my pay grade. Personally I’m a pretty forgiving type, just as long as the guilty party is sufficiently grovellingly apologetic, and promises to never ever do those bad things again. Like waste 3 billion dollars a year on high-tech weaponry, on a fatuous and counter-productive ‘war on terror‘, and on killing thousands of innocent people, instead of using those incredible amounts of money to rid the planet of illiteracy, ignorance and starvation.
However, I’ve still not heard very much in the way of apology, and I’m beginning to suspect that Fate has taken the view that America still has an awful lot to learn about its racism and misogyny, about the effects of its arrogance and its bullying, and is therefore going to ensure that McCain becomes the next president, with appalling consequences. Only then will people stop and say to themselves - “You know, it really isn’t such a bad idea to elect someone on the basis of their actual policies and programmes, and not on the colour of their skin, their gender, their bellicosity, their affability or even their age. We must learn this lesson well, and resolve never to forget it.”
That’s assuming there’s any country (or world) left to elect another president after McC has finished confronting and facing down the Ruskies, the Iranians and the Islamists.
The hot topic in Britain this week is that 'Lady' Thatcher has dementia, CJD, BSE or whatever, and doesn’t know who’s who or what’s what. To which most people say - we told you so. We knew that already. It took Britain several elections to test Thatcherism to destruction, to discover that 'trickle down' political and economic theory is a pile of poo, and that if you don’t invest in good public services you get, well, bad public services. Which, after all, most people depend on. After 11 more years of neo-Thatcherism (ie New Labour) the poor are still getting poorer, the rich are getting disgustingly rich, and there’s still no sign of any inspiring progressive leaders in waiting who can turn the country around and lead us in a more progressive, more just and more enlightened direction. Cameron? Miliband? Boris? Oh dear.
City Academies to take over Primary Schools.My handy Penguin dictionary defines Adonis as a strikingly handsome young man. Ah, the irony. Baron Andrew Adonis, age 45, ex-academic and ex-journalist, the scrawny, weasel-like New Labour schools minister, is about as qualified to run schools in England as I am to run a marathon. The bastard didn’t even attend a state secondary school. Wikipedia says his mother ran away and left him when he was a toddler. Good call. There goes a woman who recognizes some evil spawn of the devil when she sees it.
Front page news in the Guardian yesterday was Adonis’s plan to launch “matrix” Academies, which are basically City Academies with feeder Primary schools under their direct control.
Actually, the Guardian’s reporters are idiots. Polly Curtis and Allegra Stratton (who they?) wrote “One in five children start secondary school unable to read, write or do maths at the expected level”. Says who? These people have swallowed the line that 100% of eleven year olds should have reached Level 4 in their Sats by the end of Primary school. Which includes all children with special educational needs, English as a second language, behavioral and attitudinal problems, attendance issues, health issues, parents who suffer from depression, drug addiction, etc, etc.
What these reporters obviously don’t recognise, in common with most of the population, is that most ADULTS operate quite happily at Level 4 in their everyday reading, writing and maths, so if children are already at that level when they enter secondary school WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY GOING TO DO FOR THE NEXT 5 - 7 YEARS?
Who says Primary schools have a duty to do the work of Secondary schools for them? Who says Secondary teachers (as well as parents and poxy politicians) have a right to expect eleven year olds to be writing etc at an adult level by the time they enter Secondary school? So that they can 'access the curriculum'? And when exactly are they meant to learn how to access the curriculum for creativity, for emotional intelligence, for social intelligence, for spiritual intelligence?
There’s a hell of a lot wrong with our education system, including poor management of schools, both Primary and secondary. But can someone please explain how secondary specialists with no understanding of Primary pedagogy are going to benefit primary age children within a school of 2-3,000 pupils? Only an arrogant dimwit like Adonis could come up with this stuff.
What’s more he has the gall to cite Finland as the model of education he’s following. Says Lord Adonis, “Countries like Finland are often cited for their all-through schools which provide one seamless education for children through primary and secondary age".
Yes, you aDonut, and Finland also has NO summative testing of children prior to the age of 16, NO Sats, NO league tables, NO Ofsted regime, and NO micro-management of schools. Education professionals are shown proper respect and given the freedom to run their own professional and pedagogical affairs, including in-service staff development and curriculum development. And THAT’S the way they get to be top of the educational pops.
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